The Kaos Blog

Yes... Cats...

2006-03-02T09:27:00.000-05:00

...as in more than one. Meet Franky and Molly. Franky is the white one on the left. He's 5 months old and has no tail. His father was part manx, apparently that explains why he is sans tail. Molly is his mother. She's almost two years old. Yes, she had kittens early. She's a slut.

Wow, I have two cats. I'm "that" guy.

The Saturday Afternoon Post

2006-02-25T15:36:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog Reader...

Wow... you're still here? I must say I'm surprised. Where has the time gone? A day... a week... a month... it goes by so quickly.

Now here I sit... I haven't blogged in forever... trying to figure out where to pick up things. Or should I just concede defeat to the blogging gods and let this die? I'm leaning toward the last option.

When I began this blog... I really wasn't sure what I was getting into. I just wanted a place to express my thoughts... and stay in touch with friends in other parts of the country. Recently though... as most readers are aware... my online journal has turned into a place for others to attack/"stalk"/ridicule me.

That saddens me for a couple of reasons. First... these people don't have the guts to leave a name. Second... this is a place for me to express my thoughts... and for my friends to chime in... like an online family reunion. I shouldn't have to deal with someone's childish crap on MY page. Don't like me? Start your own blog. But don't litter mine with your faceless hatred.

A nameless... faceless person... or people... have taken the joy out of something I truly love(d). For my true friends out there... I'm sorry. Maybe this page will be reinvented here... or in some other form.

I miss hearing from... and talking with all of you.

Before I go... if you've never heard of Leslie Feist or Sufjan Stephens... check them out.

For now... the windows are open... the rain is falling... and I shall play with my cats.

My First Full Week at 29

2006-01-27T10:16:00.000-05:00

People have asked... do I feel older now that I have less than a year to go in my twenties.

The answer is yes and no.

I feel older in a sense that I feel the need to mature, perhaps stop all of the cavorting and silliness that I've indulged in over the past year. I have an overwhelming urge to be more "responsible". Watever that means. Financially... physically... who knows? One's birthday always provides a chance for taking stock... reflecting on how I've spent the past 12 months. Where am I headed? How can I better my future? Do these pants make me look fat?

On the other hand, I feel this is my last chance to live like a young guy. I mean, let's face it. In the gay world, you're dead at 30. Maybe I should just live it up... have a blast over the next 12 months... and grow up later.

The classic battle of the little angel and the little devil on each shoulder.

It's a lot to think about.

Happy Friday.

Time Goes By...

2006-01-15T11:50:00.000-05:00

So, I was off Friday. Great, I thought. I can do all of that crap around the apartment that needs to be done. Did I do any of it? Hell - to - the - no. I slept for a big part of the day, ran a few errands, and sorted my closet. Progress? Yes... but not nearly the amount I should have accomplished.

I doubt this week will be any different. My birthday is Tuesday... so I'm sure time will be at a premium... with the celebratory nature of the week.

And just a note to all of my friends out there... thanks for sticking up for me during this recent "anonymous" deal. I don't blog in forever... yet you guys and gals still look out for me. That's love :)

~b

OK...

2006-01-11T22:05:00.000-05:00

Here's the deal "anonymous". You're not welcome here. Leave me alone. Leave my friend alone. End of story.

Because It's Wednesday

2006-01-11T12:03:00.000-05:00

I really don't have anything interesting to say at the moment... but it's been a while since I've said hello. I plan to drink tonight... so I may have more to say after a few gin and tonics. Have a safe and pleasant evening.

Stop...

2006-01-06T08:54:00.000-05:00

Seriously.

At first I thought it was amusing...

Then I thought it was a bit strange...

Now it's pissing me off.

Say anything you want about me... I don't care.

Mess with my friends... and I get angry.

Stop it... whoever you are.

If you really are who you say you are... this is NOT the way to win me over.

If you are someone just playing a joke... it's not funny anymore.

Bill Clinton All Over Again

2005-12-28T10:27:00.000-05:00

Warning: adult subject matter

When is sex... sex?

There was a slight debate about that in my newsroom this week. There are some who believe "sex" is only the act of vaginal or anal intercourse. Others believe "oral" counts too.

Why is this important you ask? Because it all counts toward your "number". You know, the answer to the "How many people have you been with?" question. And the answer to that question can make or break you.

I personally like to break it down into two groups. (Note: the following numbers are only an example) I'd say "Well, I've been with 50 people, but I've only had sex with 20 of them."

Splitting hairs? Perhaps. But it's a debate I've heard before, so I wanted to get the take of my blog readers.

What say you?

So, This is Christmas

2005-12-25T10:17:00.000-05:00

Happy December 25th everyone.

I figured I'd take a moment to reflect on the people, in no particular older, who have touched my life over the past 12 months.

Clay: You're always there for me. Usually it involves me pouring my heart out to you and crying over the telephone. You are truly my best friend. I only wish you didn't live 8 million miles away. Hopefully you'll decide to visit soon.

Michael: Meeting you was one of the best things that happened to me this year. T-Mobile also thanks you, since I had to up my text messaging plan because of you. Haha! I look forward to many more emails to help pass the time at work.

Brandon: Why must we be doomed to spend life hours apart? Perhaps that's all part of the master plan. Could any one city really handle the excitement of us in the same place? I'm proud of you. I miss you.

Chase: What a crazy year, huh? I can honestly agree that we're in a much better place at the end of 2005, then when we began. Now get to work on those t-shirts!

Richard: Dude, you are a trip. Your razor sharp wit keeps me in stiches. And you're a fun dance partner too, ha! I've only known you for a few months, but it's been a fun ride. "God" only knows what next year will bring. (Or New Year's Eve for that matter)

Chasity: One of the ultimate "hags" -- and you know I mean that in a good way. You still need to teach me to use my hands when I talk the way you do.

Matthew: What can I say? You gave me my name. Iceland will never be the same. Thanks for being one of those friends who really gives a shit. Hugs and shit.

"Steve Wilson": I still can't believe how we met... even though we've never met. We may not get to talk as much as we used to... but don't think there's not a day that goes by that something doesn't remind me of you. Keep investigating the mayor of Detroit!

Kirsten and Cory: I'm really going to miss you guys. Your friendship means a lot to me. Somehow, football won't be the same next year. Who knows, hopefully I'll be in a different place too. Damnit Baldinger!

James: I know it's been forever. You helped me realize the power of words. How someone, thousands of miles away, can have a connection with someone else, just by typing a few random words onto a web page. You have a beautiful heart. The rest of you isn't that bad either ;)

Ryan: It's cloudy and 50 degrees as I write this. Enough said.

There are so many more people who made 2005 a year that I will never forget. This list merely scratches the surface. To all of you out there: I treasure how you've impacted my life... I only hope I may have touched you all in some sort of way too.

As Steve Wilson puts it, you can't pause life forever. He is right. We can't run. We can't hide. We can only live... and hope we do a good enough job at it... that we're invited back for another round... another day.

So, let's play ball.

Just Press "Pause"

2005-12-04T09:49:00.000-05:00

I'm not pressing the "stop" button on this blog thing just yet. I'll just press "pause". It's quite evident I've neglected this little space of the web in recent weeks. For that, I'm sorry. It might do me some good just to step away for a bit... for a few days.

I'm off next week. A week which will be spent packing for the move out of the house. I'll be doing a lot of house cleaning. Literally... and figuratively. There's a lot of crap I need to think about. This past week and this weekend brought to light a few things that I need to mull over. Perhaps a little fine-tuning is needed in my life... because I can't go on the way I've been.

So, do check back here. I promise, I'll be back. And you all know how to find me if you need me.

Cheers,
kaos

A Letter to Santa, Part One

2005-11-29T16:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Santa

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Frend,
BiLLy

==========

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

Biscuit Sausage?

2005-11-29T10:25:00.000-05:00

This could be the funniest commercial I've heard in a while. It's for the Burger King Sausage Biscuit. Maybe it's just me. I dunno.

Announcer: You may have heard of the biscuit. You may have heard of sausage.
But have you heard of the sausage biscuit?

Man: Biscuit sausage?

Announcer: No! Sausage biscuit! Through an all new patented process, Burger King has taken juicy sausage and put it between two flaky halves of a biscuit.
The sausage enhances the biscuityness. The biscuit enhances the sausageyness.

Woman: Oh! Biscuit sausage!

Announcer: No! Sausage biscuit!

Man: So, does this sausage biscuit cost like 50 bucks?

Announcer: No! It only costs 75 cents at Burger King! So go get your sausage biscuit today!

Funny Media Humor

2005-11-28T16:29:00.000-05:00

A man stands in front of St. Peter at the gates of Heaven.

St. Peter notices he made 160K/yr. and asked what the man did for a living. "I was a doctor, " he said. "Okay, " said St. Peter, inviting the man in.

A second man approaches the gates. St. Peter notices he made 180K/yr. and askes what he did for a living. "I was a computer engeneer, " the man replied. "Okay, " said St. Peter, inviting him in.

A third man approaches. St. Peter notices the man only made 23K/a year. St. Peter looks and the man and askes, "What were your call letters?"

Shakira Annoys Me

2005-11-27T11:00:00.000-05:00

Really... she does. But that's not why we're here, are we?

Well... well... well. It's another Sunday morning. The predictable scratchy throat and dark circles under the eyes are back after a weekend of partying. But there's one thing i didn't count on today. I'm sore as hell! More on that in a moment.

The extended holiday weekend proved to be a fun one, mostly. It began Wednesday night at Stack's. An intimate gathering of folks... an absurd amount of food. Oh so good! Stack always talks about his talents in the kitchen. This was my first chance to taste the fruits of his labor. Let me tell ya... he can back up what he says. The guy can cook!

Wednesday is also the night we learned of the Sportslady's new job. It's about time she found something. She deserved this break, big time, after busting her ass at 9 for the past four years. I think she'll be a good fit at WINK. Of course, we'll miss the hell out of K.O. and Cory. Have fun during hurricane season, guys!

Wednesday night rounded out with a visit to uptown. Michael had a remote at Oxygen, so we hung out there for a bit. Then we headed across the street to Savannah's. There was a decent crowd there... and the band wasn't so bad either. Even saw Roszell from 54. He left before I did. One hour earlier. Bwahahaha... I'm so funny. Not really.

Thanksgiving was fairly quiet, which was fine by me. The anchor-wife and I met for breakfast at La casa de waffle. Nothing says Thanksgiving like cheese eggs and grits. Yum! The rest of the day was just football and napping. Lots of both. I went to Michael's place that night and had my first ever piece of pumpkin pie. His mom made it. 'Twas damn good.

(Wow, you're still reading this?)

Friday morning began early. WAY early. 3:45am to be exact. I was drafted to do the live shots for the big day after Thanksgiving shopping fiasco. Was actually a hella easy assignment... just a couple of live shots for the AM show... and a package for later. I was home by noon.

That night, I met some friends that I hadn't seen in a while at Taboo. We had a decent time. The alcohol was flowing... and that's when things got strange. This one guy kepy flirting with me. He's an ok friend, but nothing more. When he gets drunk though, he's all weird and touchy feely. I had to leave. Fast forward to 3:30am. That same guy has called me 10 times in the span of 30 minutes. All drunk dials. All missed calls. So what does he do? How bout he drives to my house and knocks on my door. Um, yeah, I didn't answer. Weirdness.

Most of Saturday was spent recovering from Friday. Last night, a group of us (Michael, Richard, Tommy, Chasity, the other Tommy, Richard's friend Chase and a few others) got together for dinner. They wanted Cheddar's. Mmmmm... nothing like chain restaurants! ::rolls eyes::. Dinner was quite fun, though. Some of the people there were drinking this thing called a "pain killer". Yikes, it was strong.

Most of us decided to go out after. Michael and a couple of the others called it a night. We ended up at Taboo. Big surprise, right? Straight to the bar for a long island. I was feeling fairly loose when Richard grabs my hand and pulls me to the dance floor. We're the ONLY ones out there. I was a little self-conscious because you guys know I can't dance. But it was fun.

Lots of fun!

More adult beverages were had by Richard and me. The dancing got pretty hot and heavy. We ended up in the cage at one point. THE CAGE! Wow. I lost count, really, but I can say this. Aside from my ex-wife, after last night, I think I've now kissed Richard more than anyone else in my life. It was non-stop. And it was fun. I know he's a straight boy, so nothing will ever happen, but damn. That boy can kiss.

And dance. That's why I'm sore. Almost 3 hours of dancing will leave you in a painful state the next day. I guess it's just because I don't usually dance that much. Of course, after last night, my opinion on dancing has changed. If that's what happens when people dance, sign me up! Same place... next weekend?

More to come... at some point...

Another one...

2005-11-23T21:51:00.000-05:00

...is leaving the nest. Tonight, I learned my pal Kirsten Olesen, sports anchor at WTVM, is leaving Columbus. She's accepted a sports job at WINK (CBS) in Ft. Myers, FL. K.O. is one cool lady and she will be missed. Big time. Plus, her man-toy Cory will be leaving with her. Not going to be the same without 'em.

Kick some ass down there guys!

Big send-off party to follow.

Monday Monday

2005-11-21T10:29:00.000-05:00

It's Monday. It's cold and rainy. This sucks.

Long Island = Long Night

2005-11-19T17:20:00.000-05:00

Friday night. So many plans. So many possibilities.

So what happened?

My pal, and former neighbor, Cory, is moving on with his career. He has accepted a job at WTKR, the CBS affililate in Norfolk, VA. Friday night was his going away party. If you don't know Cory, let me break it down for you: he is country. I mean country. Rebel flag waving, tobacco dipping, squirrel eating kind of country. We decided it might be fun to dress up in "Cory character". We all wore some type of country attire... a hat... a western shirt... you know.

Our first stop of the night was Buffalo Wild Wings. I'd say about 25 people from the station came out to the shindig. Quite the turnout. That's where I met a new friend: The Long Island Iced Tea. I had a few of them, from what I recall. At some point the wings seemed to be flying on their own. Wow.

Somehow, I ended up at a country bar called "Knockin' Boots". What a name. The Channel 3 people took over the dance floor. Even my anchor wife was 'boot scootin' with the best of 'em. A few of us headed to Taboo after that. More dancing. More drinking. The world... my head... spinning out of control.

I was in no shape to drive. Cue Prince Charming to the rescue. Michael showed up to drive me home... to make sure I'd be same for the night. What a sweetheart.

So, I fall into bed. I'm laying there, in a very happy state, when my I hear that familiar refrain from the rock group The Killers... "I got soul but I'm not a soldier..." its my cell phone ringing. And who could it be, you ask?

James.

James is yet another reason I run outside and shake my fists into the air... frustrated that all of the hot... nice... funny gay guys live a million miles away. He's an anchor at a TV station in New York state. He is adorably cute... and for the past couple of months we've been regular email pals. Last night, we spoke for the first time. We had a blast. As the kids in Boston would say: he's wicked awesome.

James and I spoke again this afternoon. Great guy, I look forward to our chats. Now if he just liked BSB, then he'd be even cooler.

Other notes from a November afternoon:

-Because of my drunken stupor last night, I missed the Ashley Nix Iron Bowl party. All of my WTVM pals were going to be there, including The Great MF. I know I'm a lame ass for getting so damned tore up I couldn't show up. It sucks that I rely on alcohol too much to have a good time.

-I'm supposed to hang out with a hot soldier boy tomorrow. I think we're going to see a movie. We've talked on the telephone a couple of times... he seems fun. We'll see.

-The new apartment is official. I'll be moving to a place on Cherokee Avenue. Now, I'm a lakebottom boy, I guess. No jokes, please.

-Kaos Blog "Big Ups" of the week goes to "Steve Wilson". Thanks for the post card dude. Made my day! No, more like my week. The phone message was a nice surprise too. Wish I would have been around to take it. But what's the deal with the area code you called from? Hmmm?

Coming Up Tomorrow: Dude, where's my credit card?

I Like To Move It... Move It...

2005-11-15T18:38:00.000-05:00

Here we go again.

Despite what the title of this blog says, I, in fact, do not like to move it, move it.

Move, as in, move to a new residence.

But, that's what I'll be doing. My landlord the house I rent is jacking up the rent a fairly decent amount. So this weekend, I turned in my 30 days notice to vacate. Now, the search is on for a new place.

But, it's slim pickins.

I did find one place I like. It's at the Johnston Mill Lofts, just a few blocks away from my current home. The place is a bit small, being a loft and what not. I just have to figure out if that's what I want.

In Other News...

*Responding to the poster who asked if Brandon and I ever dated: no. Sure, I had a crush on him when we first met, but that's about it. Now, it would be like dating my brother. My hot , hot brother.

*The "frat boy" I've mentioned in the past called today. He wanted to know something about my station giving away Harry Potter tickets. But, at least he called. I said "Hey we should grab a beer soon". He responded favorably, so we'll see.

*I'm off Thanksgiving. I have to work Christmas. No big deal, I can live with that.

That's all I can think to write at the present.

More to come...

A Post Just For Matthew

2005-11-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

...because he wanted one.

More... later... on my upcoming move.

"We finally got our piece of the piiiiieeeee..."

2005-11-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

With apologies to "The Jeffersons" for today's title... here we go with another hearty helping of blog.

Q: Which actress pulled a fashion faux pas by wearing a Gap turtleneck to the Oscars?

The answer in a bit.

But first...

A lovely weekend in kaos world.

Friday evening, I hopped in the kaos car and drove the slightly less than two and a half hours to Birmingham to visit Brandon. (There, are you happy? You got a mention.) I haven't seen B in a couple of years. He left the channel in 2003, went to Florida for a couple of years, and is now at WVTM, the NBC o and o in B'ham.

We had dinner with a couple of his friends. Jimmy, Clay and Scott Maaaauuuulllldin. Great group of guys. From there, we headed to some bar... the naked oyster... or something like that. The G&T was flowing big time. One of B's co-workers, Bryson (HOTTT str8 boy) joined us as well. Let's just say the straight eye candy was a plenty.

Our next stop was Quest, an all night establishment where a lot of people go in Birmingham after the other bars close. Lots of dancing. Yeah, I danced! Who knew? Perhaps the Miller Lite had something to do with that.

OK, so it's 3:00 on a Saturday morning. What's a boy to do in a strange town? If you said tour a TV station, you're right! B gave us the grand tour of NBC 13. WOW, a real TV station. It even smelled like real TV. Whatever that means. One day, I'll work for one of those.

Around 4:00 (am), B, Clay and I went back to B's house. There had been a challenge earlier in the evening. Now it was time to put up or shut up. Trivial Pursuit. Ok, so it was the pop culture edition, but still. B and Clay were both incredibly worthy opponents. They led for most of the game. But it all came down to one question.

The three of us each had all of our "pie pieces" and just needed to correctly answer that last question in the center of the board to win. There were several failed attempts on all parts. The pressure was on. And then... then...

Which actress pulled a fashion faux pas by wearing a Gap turtleneck to the Oscars?

My answer: Sharon Stone.

Correct.

Victory!

Never have I ever won Trivial Pursuit. Victory was mine! My opponents were shocked. Hell, I was shocked. There may have been a victory dance or two. I don't recall.

The long night would soon end. It was 5am. B and I retired to his bedroom, flipped on the TV, and fell asleep to an old rerun of "Bosom Buddies".

How appropriate.

I miss that kid.

There, B, are you happy now, you got a whole post about you!

Now go study up on antique car manuals. Ok?

Mini Trip

2005-11-11T18:54:00.000-05:00

... to Birmingham to see Brandon! Back Saturday night.

A Quote...

2005-11-10T11:54:00.000-05:00

...from my favorite Asian.

*throws food at you* Here, eat some food!! I want you to stay a J.Crew wannabe model, not an Ethiopian starvation poster child.

I love her!

Four More Years!

2005-11-08T16:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, maybe just one more year.

Yeah.

I'm staying at WRBL for another year.

Many of you will question my sanity.

Heck, I've questioned my sanity.

But I enjoy having money to, oh, I dunno, pay my rent.

It's only a year.

"How do you measure a year in the life?"

That's a quote from "Rent", the musical.

Let's see what kind of progress in life I can make in a year.

It shall be an interesting ride.

As My EP is Fond of Saying...

2005-11-08T09:27:00.000-05:00

Happiness is...

Fill in the blank.

I found this on The Sportslady's blog this morning... and thought it worthy of playing here. Six fill in the blank phrases. Here we go...

1. Sometimes I wish I could just bitch slap some of my co-workers.
2. If I could take a long weekend to visit Clay and Beth to clear my head, I'd be very happy.
3. The world would be a better place if more people would just think of other people's feelings.
4. One of my greatest qualities is no gag reflex.
5. The one thing about me that I need to work on is money management.
6. Happiness is... if I knew that... I'd be rich.

So there you go. I expect participation.

The Long and Short of It

2005-11-06T10:27:00.000-05:00

Okay, there have been some folks complaining that this blog has turned into nothing more than a headline service. Yes, I have been slack... quite slack... in updating this blog. That's "my bad" as the young people say. Sometimes life, or what we think is life, rears its ugly head and you get caught up in it. Anyhow, I'm taking a few minutes on a Sunday morning to update things.

*The Job Search*
I've been searching for a new job since March 2005. My contract expired in August. My month-to-month agreement expires at the end of this month. Unless the bosses decide to extend again (or I decide to re-sign) I will be one of the unemployed come December first. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I always have the part-time stuff I can fall back on, but that's not going to cut it, ya know? More than 100 tapes have been sent, phone calls made, emails sent, etc. It's not that I'm being picky about where to apply. Really, I'm not. It just seems they don't want me. The people who truly know me, know I do not have an inflated ego, quite the opposite, actually. But I'd like to think I can do a little better than market 127. I may not be ready for NYC or LA, but something has to be out there for me. I will say, as some of you know, I've been bitten by the radio bug again. I am actively seeking full-time radio employment as well. Acutally, radio would be my first choice over TV. But you know the big TV money (haha) has a certain allure.

*The Boy Search*
I thought I actually found a guy who I really liked... and had the potential to like me. Boy was I wrong. I'll be honest, I fell for him, Hard. I still like him. But it's not the same. It'll never be the same. Some things went down this weekend that made me realize perhaps (actually no 'perhaps' -- it's the truth) he doesn't have the same feelings I do. That's fine. I can live with that. We're in two different places in life... and a guy is something he's just not ready for. The thing that hurts, is that he knows how I feel, but he'll say or do sweet things that will lead me on to think I have a chance... and in the next breath he's talking about some other guy... or some other girl... using the line "...he's all that matters". Wow. That hurts. I've cried a lot about this topic. But no more. He's a cool friend. But I can't subject my heart to that hind of beating anymore. I have to think with my head... and realize it's never going to happen... he's not right for me... I'm not what he wants. And you know what, that's okay. This could be the first time I've had a clear head (not clouded by delusions of a crush) in a while.

On another boy note. You may recall, from a few weeks ago, a post about a certain frat boy catching my eye. Well last night (early this morning) I dined with one of his frat brothers, Rob. Rob said he'd put a good word in for me with the boy. Yay. I need something to go right in the boy department.

*Other Notes*
-I still have no voice. That ain't good... it's sweeps ya know.

-I've become addicted to Sugar Free Vanilla Breves at Starbucks. OMG! Soooo good.

-Did you know it's illegal to flush a toilet in Switzerland in an apartment building after 10pm?

Have a safe and pleasant evening.

Good News/Bad News

2005-11-05T14:38:00.000-05:00

The good news is: my home computer is working again.

The bad news is: I lost my voice.

Anyone know where I can find it?

I will drink...

2005-11-04T16:33:00.000-05:00

...until I can't feel feelings anymore.

Then I'll do it again.

Bleh.

I can't go on like this.

No one person should have this much control over my mood.

Have a good weekend, all.

Fat Tuesday

2005-11-01T10:34:00.000-05:00

Random Stuff:

*Happy belated birthday, Grandma. She turned 72 yesterday. Love that woman!

*Speeding tickets suck. Especially ones that cost $377!

*Why is there a sudden fascination with chess in my newsroom?

*Why am I not surprised that the "Restaurant Report Card" has been dumped?

*Why is gin so tasty?

*New BSB on the radio. Loves it!

*Beans: Have you heard the new BSB yet?

*MF: Missed you too.

*JLM211: Drank it on the plane. Was damn good!

*AMNewsBoy: Send me your address, I have something for ya.

*Rick: Yeah, you didn't notice me. Riiiiight.

*Richard: In general, prices did not seem to be that much higher. I did overhear a woman rejoicing because she found gas for $2.67 a gallon. It's all relative I guess.

*Steve Wilson: Where ya been? Check your P.O. Box.

The Guy on the Milk Carton

2005-10-31T10:24:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that's me.

Missing.

Haha.

OK, so I'm back. My home computer is on the fritz. Damned spyware. That's part of the reason I haven't posted much lately. Of course, I've also been on holiday.

Sunny Southern California.

Sunny, my ass!

Most of the week was cold, gray and damp.

WTF?

I return to Columbus to find sunny skies and warm weather.

Nice!

The trip was great. LA is definitely not Columbus. Which is good and bad. Lots to do out there. Lots of pretty people. But it feels good to be back home.

More... later.

Hi Gang

2005-10-26T14:11:00.000-04:00

Just a little hello from the road. I made it to SoCal Monday night... having a blast. I'll return to C-bus this weekend. Have a great week!

Holy Crap...

2005-10-21T16:23:00.000-04:00

...it's the weekend!!!

I'm still looking for cool halloween costume ideas.

Any suggestions?

Weezer Says it Best!

2005-10-18T13:59:00.000-04:00

Let's go away for a while
You and I
To a strange and distant land
Where they speak no word of truth
But we don't understand anyway

Holiday
Far away
To stay
On a holiday
Far away
Let's go today
In a heartbeat!

California, here I come! Well, next week anyway. Sun... boys... what more can a boy ask for?

Current Mood: sleepy (need coffee)
Music I'm Facing: Q 107.3's Top of the Hour Jingle

Post #113

2005-10-17T10:46:00.000-04:00

Wow, isn't that a creative title?

I've been in sort of a creative 'funk' lately. Not really inspired to write much... do much... think much. Oh well... it happens to the best of us... I'm told.

Had a relatively fun weekend. Lots of drinking. Went to a couple of 'straight' bars Saturday night. I actually felt comfortable. Who knew? Of course, I was with some of my friends... Michael... Kelly from Boomer... Tommy... Heather and 'The Jew'.

Oh yeah... I met a hottie this weekend. he's actually been on my myspace for months... but I just met him. H-O-T. I hope we get to hang again. Oh, did I mention he's a frat boy? Yesssss!

Sunday was cool. Football with the gang. The sportslady was missed. Watched DH with Michael. The son was shirtless. What a way to wrap up the weekend!

Back to work now. The channel awaits. I'm in for Phil all week... so it's an extra show to do. At least I have vacation to look forward to next week. Yay!

Biggie Sized

2005-10-13T11:47:00.000-04:00

Wow. What a difference two years makes! The folks in marketing found this old pic of me from 2001, when I started at the channel.

It doesn't even look like the same person! Here's a quick game of then and now:

Weight:
Then: 255lbs. Now: 175lbs.

Suit Size:
Then: 48R Now: 41R

Shirt Size:
Then: XXL Now: Medium

Pants Size:
Then: 42 Now: 33

Shoe Size:
Then: 13 Now: 13 (yeah, I didn't think everything would shrink, haha!)

Looking back, I wonder how I got a job on TV looking like that. Although, I'm still finding it tough to find work, looking like this!

Have a slimming day,

~kaos

Did I Say That?

2005-10-11T11:45:00.000-04:00

During a story about a correlation between the height of a 16 year old... and how much money he'll earn as an adult. The video showed a fairly handsome young man. My ad-lib:

"He looks about 16. I wonder what he measures."

Cue the laughter. Lots of it.

Then my co-anchor says: "Maybe you should call him and find out what he measures."

I lose it.

Red faced.

Laughter.

Not good.

Now that's quality television.

Fine... I did it!

2005-10-10T15:14:00.000-04:00

you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Darn You, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition!

2005-10-09T22:57:00.000-04:00

Very few television shows qualify as "appointment viewing" for me. Although I work in TV, I don't watch that much of it. Sure, I'm a fan of certain shows, but it doesn't kill me if I miss most of them.

Last season, ABC's Desperate Housewives became one of my few "must see" shows. Actually, I wasn't alone. Each week, the gang would gather at someone's home, cook a meal, and watch "DH". It was a Sunday night tradition in C-town. Since then, sadly, most of the gang has moved away.

The program that airs before DH is Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I'm sure you've heard of it. It's hosted by that annoying Ty Pennington. Somebody give this guy some decaf... and a razor to shave that damned soul patch he has going on!

Anyway, back to the story, in preparation for DH, the gang would always flip the television to our local ABC affiliate around 8:45pm. We'd catch the last few minutes of Extreme Makeover. We'd see the family tour their new home. They'd cry. We'd cry. That gay guy who does the interior design on the show would cry. It was moving stuff.

This year, I've started to watch the entire hour of EMHE. It seems I've been sucked in. It's really a good show. It makes you feel things... makes you think. The show made me do two things tonight.

1) The crew on the show got hungry... so they headed to a nearby Wendy's for a late night snack. Singles with cheese for everyone! I hadn't eaten dinner yet... and damn that Wendy's looked good. So, I threw on some pants, and headed to my neighborhood Wendy's (ok, Bibb City doesn't have one, I had to drive to Bradley Park) for a drive thru-dinner. Instead of the hamburger, I opted for the grilled chicken sandwich and a chili. It was still tasty.

2) The dad on this week's show has cancer. There was talk of cancer, how he might not live to see all of his children grow up, how difficult it's been on the family, etc. Ty built a special workshop for the dad so he could do his carpentry at home and spend more time with his family, instead of having to travel to work. The dad said this was important because his family's support is what kept him going. That made me think about something.

Most of you may not know this, but my friend Michael had a brain tumor removed earlier this year. I've only gotten to know him really well over the past few months. I wasn't close friends with him at the time of his surgery, we were just two people in the same industry who happened to run into each other once in a while.

Just this week, as we were talking about his surgery for some reason, I told him something. I said I was glad I didn't know him well during his hospital time, because I would have been a basket case... I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Most people probably wouldn't be able to deal well with a close friend having a brain tumor.

But after watching that show tonight, after seeing how important support from friends and family is to someone actually going through an ordeal like that, I feel like an ass. How selfish of me to say something like that. My good friend was probably scared out of his mind, going through brain surgery, and my first concern would have been: how was I going to deal with it?

Thinking back, I wish I would have known him better back then. I would have been there with him every step of the way, supporting him, helping him, whatever he needed. I'm sure he needed all of the friends possible back then. I'm not saying I would have been a magic bullet or anything, but who couldn't use an extra friend?

We can't go back in time to change things. But we can change the present. Monday, take just a minute to tell someone how special they are to you. Do something nice for them. Maybe spend a couple of bucks on something for them It doesn't have to be anything grand. [If my friends are reading this, I wear a medium in Abercrombie and Fitch shirts] It might seem silly or corny to you, but to a friend, it could just make their day. And in turn, it could just make yours.

Have a thoughtful day!

And the Winner Is...

2005-10-07T16:31:00.000-04:00

OK... it's time to pick a winner in our haiku fest '05.

There were tons of great entries. OK, there were six. But still, the kaos blog staff appreciates your hard work.

And now... the envelope please:

The winner is Spikey Mike!

Here's his entry:

Told your Mom you're gay.
And that's how it's always been;
Likes it in the butt.

Priceless!

Have a great weekend, pals.

So Much to Say

2005-10-06T21:02:00.000-04:00

I start with a welcome to new readers. Once again, the kaos blog has been mentioned on newsblues, a website dedicated to TV "insider info", job moves, etc. The latest mention talked about my unfortunate "sickness" during the 5pm show Tuesday. Since then, I've received several hits and emails from new readers who learned of this blog through newsblues. To them I say "welcome". Feel free to look around, leave comments, donations, brownies, etc.

The big news of the day in the kaos world comes from a part of my life I don't talk much about: my mother. Mom and I have had an on again... off again relationship for a few years now. She divorced my step-dad in the mid 1990s and went through a bit of a rebellious streak. Now shes all tatted up, hits the bottle quite a bit and is married to a 26 year old. Yeah, quite the role model.

Mom and I talk once in a while. OK, before last month, it had been two years since we spoke. After Hurricane Katrina, mom and I began talking more, keeping up with family back in New Orleans. Today, I broke the news to her: her son's a homo. I mailed the two page letter Tuesday. She got it this morning... called as soon as she read it.

Her response? Things like: "...well I had an idea you might be..." "...it doesn't matter what you are... as long as you're happy..." and "...I love you no matter what..."

Wow. What a relief. So far, she's the only family member who knows. I'm not sure if I'll spill the beans to more of them. We'll have to see. But for now, my semi-secret is safe with mom. Maybe she's not so bad after all.

Other Tasty Nuggets:

*I got the "wow you look a lot thinner in person" comment at the mall this evening. Lovely.

*17 more tapes and resumes go into the mail tomorrow. This has to work for me at some point. Really.

*My former partner-in-crime Jessica Clark did live shots for The Weather Channel and NBC stations yesterday. She was covering Tropical Storm Tammy in Florida.

*Play Ball! Tomorrow night, I'm filling in for Bruce Frazier on the high school football show. This should be fun.

Take care my friends... and have a safe and pleasant evening.

Ah, That's Better

2005-10-05T23:06:00.000-04:00

Lots of meds.

Lots of sleep.

Lots of relief.

Thanks for all of the kind words...

...and the haikus too.

We'll leave the haiku contest open until Friday... so get your entries in now. (Scroll down 2 posts for details).

Coming up next time: I drop the bomb... on mom.

Bleh

2005-10-04T22:29:00.000-04:00

Wow, I haven't felt this crappy in a while.

It started around 10am. Nausea. Big time. By early afternoon, it got worse. I threw up twice. Once at home. Once at work. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go home.

But I couldn't. The 6pm male anchor was off. Guess who is his fill in? Me. (God forbid someone would have to anchor a 30 minute newscast solo). So there I am, about 22 minutes into my 90 minute anchoring marathon. (For those who don't know, I normally anchor the hour-long 5pm newscast).

It's 5:22. We're about to come back from commercial. The camera is focused on me to introduce the "consumer watch" segment.

And then, I feel it. That familiar rumble in my stomach.

"15 seconds", shouts the studio camera operator.

I look to my co-anchor, who's just come back from the kitchen set where she did a cooking segment. "Uh, I gotta go", I tell her. I quickly grab my microphone from my lapel, take it off, and run like the dickens for the mens room.

I make it. Barely.

Let's just stay stall number two will never be the same. Chunks. Everywhere. On my shoes, on my pants, on the floor. It was a textbook example of "projectile vomiting". It even came out of my nose. It was disgusting!.

Then my neighbor, and fellow co-worker, Cory, peeks his head in to check on me.

"The boss says if you don't feel well you can go home", he says.

Well thanks a lot. The three hours of stomach pain off-air were not enough to convince him. I guess the third time was a charm.

So, that's why I disappeared unexpectedly from the show today. Not that I'm sure anyone noticed.

I spent the evening in bed. Texting with Michael. He's such a sweetheart for keeping me company.

Tonight, I ran out to Walgreen's for some meds... and some Saltines and Sprite. That's my sick 'comfort food'. I can remember my grandmother taking care of me when I was sick as a child. Saltines and Sprite... and grandma... always made it better. Let's hope it works again.

Current Conditions:
-Achy
-Fever: 100 degrees
-Nauseated
-Vomiting

Ah, October

2005-10-04T00:50:00.000-04:00

Well, October is here. How 'bout a little fun? It's haiku time. Submit your most creative haiku about your pal Kaos... and I'll pick a winner. What will you win? Hmm, we'll come up with something.

Oh, what's a haiku, you ask?

Click here to learn.

Happy writing!

Recipe for Disaster

2005-10-02T17:35:00.000-04:00

1 "blow job" shot

2 beers

3 "liquid cocaine" shots

3 gin and tonics

1 "purple hooter" shot

1 moving car

In the Dumps

2005-09-28T16:15:00.000-04:00

Why?

Why is it that twice today... when I've gone into the men's room at the channel... there has been someone in there taking a nasty ass dump... stinking the place up?

Don't they know that's what the handicapped bathroom is for?

Yuck!

The Boy is Back in Town

2005-09-27T19:59:00.000-04:00

It's good to be back. No, really, it is. I promise.

Actually, after four days on the road, the comforts of home are quite welcoming. Not that I didn't have a great time in Chicago. Because, I did. Believe it.

The 15th annual NLGJA convention was held at the Palmer House Hilton, in the heart of Downtown Chicago. The place was incredible. Room was a little cramped (I expected more for $149 a night) but cosy. The hotel was also right on the El's red line. That would prove to be quite convenient. There was a lot of drinking.

The 'convention' part of the convention was super. I learned a lot about other gay journalists experiences, got to network with potential future employers and made lots of new friends.

But, I'd have to say the best part of the trip was the night life. Chicago's 'Boys Town' area is teaming with clubs, shops and the like. Side Tracks was my favorite. We also visited Roscoe's and Circuit. Great clubs, very laid back, LOTS of hot boys. Nothing like places in Columbus. I was actually attracted to these guys. Go figure.

I actually met one guy there I really like. I hope to get to know him a bit better. He produces at a station in Chicago. Seems like a cool boy... with his act together. Oh, and he likes Abercrombie too. Nice.

But let's get to the story we've been waiting for.

We were told Chad Allen would be at an event NLGJA sponsored for us Saturday night. I was reeeeally looking forward to it. My group of friends arrived at the bar around 11:30pm. It was packed. I mean packed. No sign of Chad. At all.

Oh well, I thought. Just to be in the same room as he was would be cool enough. I talked with my friend while waiting in line for a drink ($6.50 for a Tanqueray and tonic!!!) when he got this look on his face. His eyes got very wide. He motioned for me to turn around.

So, I did.

And there he was.

Chad Freakin' Allen. Shoulder to shoulder with me.

This was my chance. I smiled and said hello. He was very pleasant. I introduced myself, admitted I had a crush on him since 5th grade, and he gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. How sweet! Next to meeting Nick and Justin, this was one of my best Celebrity moments ever. Short and sweet... but oh so nice.

That's a quick recap of the trip. There are many more stories... but not nearly enough time. Next year's convention is in Miami. I can't wait.

So did I hook up with anyone? I'll never tell. But you can ask.

My Kind of Town

2005-09-21T20:24:00.000-04:00

It's a short week in the kaos world. Thursday morning, I leave for Chicago. It's a combo work - slash - pleasure trip for me. I will be attending the annual convention of NLGJA, The National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association.

This promises to be one heck of a trip, professionally and personally. As many of you know, I am feverishly looking for a new job. Perhaps this could be just the networking event I've waited for.

Oh, and Chad Allen is going to be there too.

Yum.

I'll be checking the comments while I'm away.

See you soon.

The Post at 5am

2005-09-21T05:00:00.000-04:00

It's 5:00 am.

I'm awake.

The sweet angel of sleep has passed me by.

What ails me?

Is it my body?

Is it my head?

My flesh crawls.

My mind aches.

Questions fill me with doubt.

Pondering.

Agonizing.

Where am I headed?

Will he ever love me?

Why won't slumber arrive?

Before morning does.

Know Thy Blogger

2005-09-17T07:02:00.000-04:00

I was tagged by Brandon... so here goes.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:00am
2. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Batman Begins. (sucked)
3. What is your favorite TV show? Desperate Housewives (what, you thought I was going to say Super Password?)
4. What did you have for breakfast? nothing
5. What is your middle name? Michael
6. Favorite cousin? Listen, I'm not from Alabama. We don't do that sort of thing.
7. Foods you dislike? beets. who eat a beet?
8. What are your favorite chips? dill pickle
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Fall Out Boy
10. Favorite sandwich? if i had to pick one.. it would be a poydasheff. (inside joke)
11. What personality trait/characteristic do you despise? body odor.
12. Favorite item of clothing? hmmm.. as of right now... my green Hollister tee that says "Get over here freshman."
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? LA
14. What color is your bathroom? red
15. Favorite brand of clothing? I'm a 'crombie boy. Yes, I am a brand whore.
16. Where would you retire to? my study... wearing an ascot and a smoking jacket. huh?
17. If you could go back to school what would you study? my fellow classmates.
18. Favorite time of the day? 5:56:30 pm M-F
19. What was your most memorable birthday? 21... I passed out in a frat house.
20. Where were you born? New Orleans, LA
21. Favorite sport to watch? football... can I get a what what?
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Don Knotts
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Kathie Lee Gifford
24. What fabric detergent do you use? lemme ask my maid.
25. What is your favorite household appliance? hmmm that's a tough one. maybe slotted spoon? oh, who am i kidding... kitchen tongs!!!
26. Are you a morning person or a night person? you're assuming i'm a person.
27. What is your shoe size? 13
28. Do you have any pets? not since Jeremiah died. :(
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with friends and family? I have SARS.
30. What did you want to be when you were little? bigger.

Now you do it. And send me the results. And send me lots of money. Do it now! Or I'll shoot this kitten!

Hmmm... I need a kitten. Fast.

XOXO,
Kaos

Random Nuggets

2005-09-15T18:24:00.000-04:00

**************************

Picture it -- today's 5pm newscast. We're coming out of a CBS package on Prince Harry's 21st birthday.

Creshon: "You know Prince Harry has really turned into a handsome young man."

Creshon looks at me.

I look back at her.

Creshon: "Don't you think so?"

Kaos turns red.

Bright red

Kaos: "Yes, yes he has" -- breaks into embarrassed laughter.

**************************

It's cold in my kitchen in the winter.

It's hot in my kitchen in the summer.

That's frustrating.

I've lived in this house almost a year.

Tonight, I just realized one of my kitchen windows was half-way open.

That's dumb.

**************************

A glass of merlot is good.

A bottle of merlot is better.

**************************

Two muffins are sitting in the oven.

Muffin number one says to muffin number two: "Is it just me, or is it getting really hot in here?"

Muffin number two responds: "Ahhhhh! Talking muffin!"

**************************

Golden Ray of Sunshine

2005-09-15T08:08:00.000-04:00

Thinking of you, Ryan. I love you. Hang in there, OK?

Winging It

2005-09-11T22:40:00.000-04:00

The NFL season is officially under way. Bout damn time!

Last year, there was a grand tradition in the kaos world. Stack, Jeremonkey and yours truly would gather at "The Draft", a local sports bar attached to JML. Oh, the times we had. The football games, the wings, the burgers, the laughs.

The 2004 season was a great one. Then, the unthinkable. The Draft closed its doors for good. There were money problems, so I'm told. No more Sunday football, no more great bar food just blocks away from my house. No more.

Today, the hunt began for a new hangout. It did not start well.

Jeremonkey and I first arrived at some place called "The 4th Quarter". It's an alleged sports bar -slash- uh, I dunno, hole in the wall trashy joint. 4Q used to be a restaurant called "Malone's", which had a great Sunday brunch, but I digress. The bottom line? After 15 minutes of us sitting there, we decided this would *not* be our new Sunday home.

The search continues.

We decided to give Buffalo Wild Wings a try. Boy, were we ever glad. Every game imaginable was on. The food was great. The atmosphere was lively. It wasn't The Draft, but maybe the next best thing.

Stack joined us too. Apparently he has a new girlfriend.

We also saw our pals Sportslady and Cory, who joined us for a spell. What fun!

In the middle of it all, I checked someone's phone and noticed the date. 9/11/05. Holy crap! September 11th! How could I have forgotten? Looking around the room, I began to believe I wasn't the only one who'd not remembered. Just three years ago, the nation was in mourning, marking the one year anniversary of the attacks. Now, look at us. We're drinking, partying, yelling at football games. Have we really lost it, I pondered? Has that American spirit of compassion gone away so quickly?

The early games were wrapping up. Saints vs. Panthers on one of the big screens. All eyes on the tie game: 20-all. Less than ten seconds on the clock. Saints go for a field goal to win the game. The snap. The kick. It's good. Saints win!

The crowd inside BWW goes wild. Screaming. Cheering. High fives. All because the New Orleans Saints, my New Orleans Saints, won a game. Am I still in Georgia, I thought? Why are people on Atlanta's home turf cheering their arch enemy?

Then I heard someone say it. Something to the effect of: after all New Orleans has been through, Saints fans deserve to have a good season.

Ahhhh... there's the spirit!

F to the E to the M to the A

2005-09-11T09:49:00.000-04:00

Wow. This is bad.

Holla back.

Looking Back... Looking Ahead

2005-09-10T16:50:00.000-04:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: Please forgive this morning's post. I was drunk and upset. Now, onto this evening's entry...

February 17, 1994

Dear Blaine,

I hardly know you, but I've known you for about six years. Crazy, right? To me, you seem like a pretty cool guy. I think you try to please people you don't even know. Like wanting to "be cool", so to speak. That's nothing. Who is anyone to say someone else is "cool"? Nobody! Be yourself. You're teriffic, smart and a beautiful person. If you ever need to talk, call XXX-XXXX, but I don't think you'll call, because you seem like the kind of person who's too shy to do it. Blaine, you're KOOL.

Adrienne 'Annie' Brionnes
Class of '94

That note was written inside my senior yearbook by one of my high school classmates, Annie. She was a beautiful latina, with long curly black hair, great taste in music, and a sort-of 'rebel' attitude. She was one of the "cool" girls in high school.

Yeah, I admit, I had a crush on her. I'm not sure why, but I did. My senior year, Annie and I were assigned to sit next to each other in Spanish class. My dream come true, right? I *so* tried to impress her. I'm not sure if it was because of my crush or my desire to be accepted by the 'popular' kids. Either way, for one hour each day, Annie was all mine.

Of course, nothing ever happened between us, for many reasons. She was right. I never called. I was too shy. Looking back, I wish I would have. Not to date her. Just to continue the friendship. I wonder what she's doing now.

Annie's yearbook note got me thinking. Especially the part about me trying to please other people. That, coupled with developments in my non-existent love life over the past week or so (a long story that I won't get into now), has made me realize, perhaps I'm still not ready for a boyfriend. I *still* try to please other people. I *still* put my feelings on the line for people who could care less about my heart. I *still* have a lot of learning to do.

So, curious reader, you ask what does this mean? It means your pal Kaos is going to start putting himself first more often. It means if you think you're going to use me to make yourself feel better, think again. It means I might actually 'grow a pair'.

And for those who get the reference, it also means Brian Kinney is back... and I plan to pick up right where I left off. Boys, the line forms at the door. But be careful, I just might break your heart.

How's that for a change?

Guys Suck...

2005-09-10T02:44:00.000-04:00

...and not in a good way.

Am I On Drugs?

2005-09-07T20:45:00.000-04:00

Those who know me may ask that question after I spill the beans. If you read yesterday's post, you saw the tease for today's entry. Those four words I thought I'd never say?

I

want

a

boyfriend

Told ya, this was big.

I won't die if I don't get one, it's just that it'd be nice, ya know?

Of course, the guy I wouldn't mind taking out to dinner probably doesn't even think of me that way. I think there's a girl he's into. He "goes both ways", as the kids say. But it's cool. At least we're friends, so it's not weird or anything. What we have now works just fine. It's better than nothing, ya know. (If by chance he reads this - not sure if he checks the blog - and somehow figures this out, no pressure dude, it's all good. Just friends is just fine. I want you to be happy.)

At the end of the day, friends are all you have. And I'm thankful for mine.

Mahalo.

Oh, and Chris, check your myspace.

Thank You

2005-09-06T22:07:00.000-04:00

A businessman in Biloxi, Mississippi, sifts through the rubble of his pawn shop. He says he propped up the shop's door because he wanted to show the world that his place may be down, but it's not out. That's the spirit!

First, I want to thank you, all of you, for your thoughts, prayers, calls, emails, everything. The past week or so has been an emotional drain on me, as it has been for many of us. I could not have made it without all of you. I am truly blessed to call each of you my friend. If there is anything you ever need, consider it done. I love all of you.

Now, to the good news. My brother is safe. He was able to get out of New Orleans before the storm hit. I finally got a call from my uncle, telling me the whole family (brother, uncle, grandma, etc.) has now met up in a small town between Alexandria, Louisiana, and Natchez, Mississippi. A family has donated their home to my family, for as long as they need it. Free of charge. What a blessing.

As some of you may have heard, Katrina did bring some sadness to my extended family. A lady I grew to know and love over the years, passed away. She had a heart attack. I would imagine the stress of the hurricane had something to do with it. Her funeral was Sunday.

I spoke with my friend Val today. She works at WWL-TV. Val, and the gang at Channel 4 are kicking ass on the airwaves and online. Val is a top notch producer and one of the coolest gals I know. I'm glad to hear she's OK. If she survived the toast nazi, she can survive anything. Three words Val: baby got back.

There are so many more chapters to be told in this story. We are only in the first few pages. But there is hope. My friend, "Jane", wrote me last week. She penned a few lines about an unrelated subject, that I think apply to this situation too:

"The next few pages are a hard read, but you know that after these laborious paragraphs, (it's) gonna be okay... fine... better."

And it will.

Stay with WWL-TV for that station's unsurpassed coverage of Katrina's aftermath.

As the emotional state of the kaos household returns to normal, I shall return to a more normal posting schedule.

Here's a tease:

Coming up next time: Four words I thought I'd never say.

My Brother

2005-09-03T21:18:00.000-04:00

I talked with my mom this evening and got the news... my brother is missing. He lives in New Orleans, and hasn't been heard from since Hurricane Katrina hit last week. We don't know if he got out and is in a shelter somewhere or if he stayed in town. He's 19, his name is Jordan, and he's the only brother I have. Say a prayer, please.

Taking a break from blogging,

Kaos.

Too Much

2005-08-31T21:44:00.000-04:00

I am going on a self-imposed hurricane coverage hiatus. After days of watching image after image of sheer destruction in my hometown, I can't take any more. I would love to say I've become numb to the pictures. Sadly, each time I see a picture of the suffering in Louisiana and Mississippi, I sink deeper and deeper into a state of depression. It's a tough call. I want to keep up with what's happening, to be an eyewitness to history, but emotionally, I can't take much more. I can't tell you how many times I've broken down and cried over the past few days.

So, aside from reading scripts on-air, the television stays off, no logging onto WWL's website, I have to get away. It's just too much.

Thanks to everyone for sending comments and emails. Your thoughts and prayers mean so much.

The Aftermath

2005-08-30T08:05:00.000-04:00

It's not pretty. Not by a longshot. Hurricane Katrina destroyed parts of New Orleans, my hometown. It will take months, perhaps years, for things to get back to normal.

Here are some of the storm headlines:

*750,000 people without power in New Orleans metro area. It could take weeks for all electricity to be restored.

*WWL-TV reports the I-10 Twin Span Bridges to Slidell are gone, demolished by the storm.

*80 percent of New Orleans is under water, in some places, the water is as high as 12 feet.

WWL-TV and WDSU-TV are providing excellent video coverage online. It's worth a watch.

It's sad to think, things may be even worse in Mississippi. The southern part of the Magnolia State bore the brunt of Katrina. Dozens of people died there.

There are some who say New Orleans was spared. Spared? Take one look at the damage. Look into the eyes of shell-shocked hurricane survivors. Talk to people who have lost loved ones. Then tell me New Orleans was spared. Katrina was the storm we all feared, the storm we all talked about, the storm we hoped would never happen.

It happened.

And now, we must move on.

UPDATE: Residents of Jefferson Parish, including my family, will not be allowed back into their homes for one month, according to WWL-TV.

2005-08-30T08:02:00.000-04:00

Some residents were forecd to the roof of their homes in search of dry ground. Flood waters reached as high as 12 feet in some areas.

2005-08-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

Many windows were blown out of New Orleans' downtown high-rise buildings, including the Hyatt Hotel, seen here.

2005-08-30T07:50:00.000-04:00

The roof of the Louisiana Superdome was shredded by Hurricane Katrina's winds.

Reasons Why I'm Stressed

2005-08-29T04:08:00.000-04:00

*There is a bad ass hurricane in the process of destroying my hometown.

*Because of that... and my work schedule... I haven't slept in a while.

*Michael is going to the doctor for a bone scan today. I'm sure he's fine but I'm a worry wart.

*In three months I will be out of a job.

*I'm dealing with some serious dry skin.

Hurricane Katrina

2005-08-28T20:50:00.000-04:00

Katrina is a dangerous Category 5 hurricane, predicted to make landfall on the Louisiana coast near New Orleans.

Live Coverage Links:
WWL-TV (CBS) New Orleans, LA
WDSU-TV (NBC) New Orleans, LA
WLOX-TV (ABC) Biloxi, MS
WJTV-TV (CBS) Jackson, MS
WKRG-TV (CBS) Mobile, AL

Farewell, My Friend

2005-08-25T14:07:00.000-04:00

We wrapped up our lunch conversation much like we began our conversation the day we met.

Her: "So hi, I'm Jessica."

Me: "Welcome to Columbus. So, why do you want to come here?"

Her: "I hear you have a great news director..."

On that day, in January 2002, that was a serious statement about the man who led our news department. Today, we got a hearty chuckle out of how wrong we probably were.

Yes, Jessica Clark and I have been through a lot together. Sweating through 3rd Brigade coverage at Fort Benning, a six-hour drive to Orlando so we could learn about ethics, and most importantly: the mystery pooper. No, I will not explain.

As I've posted before, Jess is headed to a job in Jacksonville, FL. She is an incredibly talented journalist. More importantly, she's a great friend. I hate to see her go. I'm glad to see her go. It's a conflict of emotions. It doesn't make any sense. Yet, it makes perfect sense.

Jessica put it best this afternoon. She said, "I often think that literature is like life. There is a plot, foreshadowing, resolution, the whole deal. Then, I wonder if maybe life is like literature, but then I think that would make life seem less important."

We did not say "goodbye" when we left our lunch meeting this afternoon. We simply said "see you later". I hope I will. I know I will. We spent three and a half years as co-workers. It seems like such a short time... like it flew by. But I'm thankful for whatever time we did have together... to be part of her career... her life... her story.

After all, as she was so fond of saying here, everybody has one.

I Hear Government Cheese is Tasty

2005-08-24T13:17:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so I need some help. Long story short, I have 30 days to find new employment. At the end of September, I will be without a job. I will not be staying in Columbus, at least not at The Channel. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Stressed, party of one?

Right here.

Slim Shady

2005-08-23T21:41:00.000-04:00

Should I fear for my safety?

Part of my daily routine at The Channel involves doing news for some of the radio stations in town. This means walking across the street from The Channel to the radio stations at 5:30am to record my newscast. It was actually my idea to do the 'casts at the radio stations, it sounds better that way.

But there's one problem. The stations are not in the best neighborhood. It's no Harlem, but it's no Green Island either. It's pitch black when I cross the street in the morning. Sometimes there are people, strange people walking the street nearby. I'm always watching my back. It just seems a little creepy some mornings. Sure, I could drive across the street, but that would just look too pansy-esque. Right?

So, I walk, in the dark, and hope that some young punk doesn't force me into an alley and have his way with me. Like maybe 18-23 ish, that good looking bad-boy type, like a young Eminem.

::daydreams::

Yeah, so anyway, I'm always on the lookout for that guy, so he doesn't make me do anything naughty in the morning. A boy's got to be careful, right?

Monday Mish-Mash

2005-08-22T13:56:00.000-04:00

*I started the day by pissing off a sponsor. Gotta love that. So, let me say this here, in repentance. Buy Spectrum gas. Spectrum is great. Mmmmmm, Spectrum. Hopefully that fixed things.

*We had our annual luncheon to prepare for the MDA telethon. Telethon day is the one day a year I'll admit to having a heart.

*I was invited to a bridal tea today. My friend Katie is getting married in Miami in October. Today, I got the tea invite in the mail. Aren't those things for girls? Maybe it's a couples thing. Maybe gay boys are invited too. Either way, sounds fun.

OK, bedtime is soon. More later.

Here, have some blog

2005-08-21T18:18:00.000-04:00

Some weekend odds and ends before we wrap up our trip to Virginia.

*Jessica's last day at work was Friday. It was all I could do not to tear up on the air. Continuing tradition, I gave my departing co-anchor a photo of myself as a goodbye gift, This time, it was a framed 11 x 14, though. We're movin' on up in the world.

*Hung out at the lofts with the gang Friday night. Drank way too much. Way too much. Still, a good time was had by all.

*A much needed house cleaning took place Saturday. I can actually have people over again without being embarrased.

*Saturday's goodbye dinner for Jessica went well. I bought her a cake, pictured below. What can I say? It was on sale. OK, actually it wasn't. I just thought it might be funny to personalize the cake with something that had nothing to do with the event. At least she got the joke.

*"Movie Under the Stars" wrapped up my evening. It was OK. Way too hot. Way too many kids. Megan and I left early to grab a beer at Speakeasy. I was in bed by midnight. Unusual for me, I know.

*I predict a riot! My God I love the new Kaiser Cheifs CD. Buy it today. Thanks to Cory for turning me on to them.

*A fellow Columbus blogger has a revealing post about himself on his page. It's worth reading. Hang in there Richard, this could be your 'lucky' year.

*Been in kind of a funky mood today. Quite melancholy. Not sure why. Maybe because it's bill paying day.

*The Postal Service just came on as I write this. God I love TPS. And Fountain City Coffee for playing it.

OK, let's put this "trip descrip" to bed.

Saturday

Brunch with Beth and Clay. This woman could be the next Martha Stewart. I swear. She concocted this incredible baked apple dish that was to die for. Yum! I'll get the recipe and share with you soon. Of course, there were also bloody marys. Hell, what good is vacation if you cant get a good buzz going by 11am?

After that, it was off to the beach. They took me to Croatan. This is a locals-type beach in Virginia Beach. Lots of hot surfer boys. Young, tan, blonde. You get the picture. No, actually, you *do* get the picture. There's one posted below. We spent about 3 or 4 hours at the beach. Normally, I would look like a lobster after that kind of time in the sun. Instead, I still look as pale as ever. Why? Because I took a page from one of those Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials.

Yes, I was "Mister 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer".

OK, so it was actually 50 SPF, but you get the point. I was coated so well with Banana Boat, or whatever it was, as the commercial suggests, I was protected from the rays of not only our sun, but any neighboring suns, in a neighboring galaxy.

SPF 15? Please. You might as well be wearing cooking oil.

backup singers: something smells delicious!

Anyway, we later walked on the boardwalk, checked out the tv station's beach bureau (on the roof of the Dairy Queen - true!) and had a late lunch at some beachside cafe.

That night, there was dinner, drinking, dancing. Some of which I remember.

Sunday

Leftovers for brunch. Still as good the next day.

We headed to a downtown mall for some bargains. Beth flirted with the hot shoe salesman at Nordstrom for us. She ended up buying $80 shoes from him. Yeah, we owe you for that one Beth. After that, there was a tour of the USS Wisconsin. The stateroom left a lot to be desired. Sunday was a relaxing day, the last full day of my trip. We wrapped it up with dinner at a great Thai place and hit the bar in VA Beach one last time.

That's where I made out with the hot latino guy.

In summary, this was a trip I really needed. Time away from the job. Time with some great friends. I hope to have more of these trips to see more of my friends soon. Even though we may be apart geographically, all of you are on my mind and in my heart.

To borrow a page from The Postal Service: "...when you scan the radio... I hope this song will guide you home."

Mahalo.

2005-08-21T18:17:00.000-04:00

The happy couple, one last time

2005-08-21T18:15:00.000-04:00

Congrats Maureen! I mean Jessica.

2005-08-21T18:12:00.001-04:00

The happy trio at dinner

2005-08-21T18:12:00.000-04:00

Hot surfer boy

Blow by Blow (part two)

2005-08-18T21:36:00.000-04:00

Wow, either people actually enjoy my ramblings here, or I have some friends who reeeeeeally need to find a hobby. Either way, there has been quite the uproar because it's been more than 24 hours since my last post. For that, I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me?

We'll get to part two of my vacation series in just a bit. But first, some other odds and ends.

*Straight Flush* Wow, I feel like such a man. Such a big, burly, manly man. For the past couple of weeks, the toilet in my master bathroom has been out of order. No, it had nothing to do with a late-night, post-bar trip to Krystal. Something called the "flapper" broke. The flapper is that chain and suction cup combo that attaches the flusher arm to the base of the tank. It opens the passageway to flush and re-fill the tank with water. Tonight, I'm happy to say, my tiolet works once again! I installed a new flapper just moments ago... and it works! Yay me! I'm such a do-it-yourselfer.

*Scanning the Dial* Radio listeners from Los Angeles to New York and everywhere inbetween got to hear your pal kaos today. There was a nasty police shootout in Stewart County, Georgia, overnight. Four people were shot, including the bad guy. The story made national headlines. Apparently, CBS radio called Robbie Watson at AM 1420 WRCG for info on the story. She passed them onto me. When it was all said and done, I cut two 'voicers' for CBS radio. A voicer is a short sound-byte type clip from a reporter in the field. It's like a mini-mini-pkg for radio. I aired as the top story on the CBS radio network at 1:00 and 2:00pm. And the best part? I get paid by CBS for that! Yay! One funny note though: I was identified by the anchor as "Kaos from CBS radio affiliate WCRG." Oops, oops and oops. First, as we know, I'm not officially a radio employee, yet. Second, it's WRCG not WCRG. Third, 'RCG is an ABC affililiate. Oh well, as long as they get the info right in the paycheck.

OK, now that we've taken care of some loose ends, it's time to get back to our journey to Virginia.

Friday

The day began with an all too early wake-up call. 10:30am. Yes, this was early considering the fun we had the night before. I showered, shaved, and dressed up for the big meeting at WTKR.

I met with the assistant news director about a position that will soon be available there. It wasn't a formal "interview" since the job isn't officially posted yet. But he'd seen my tape, heard I'd be in town, and thanks to Beth, spent about 30 minutes with me. We'll keep our fingers crossed to see how this one turns out.

After the meeting, it was time for lunch. Beth and I dined at a charming bistro in downtown Norfolk. The Freemason Abbey is an old church turned into a restaurant. Cute little atmosphere going on there. Oh yeah, and the best she crab soup I've ever had. Ever. Wow. Yeah, it was that good.

Later that afternoon, Clay and I spent some time with his friends Anna and Nicole. They were a blast. I just met them that day, but by the end of our time together, felt like we'd been friends forever. Those ladies are fun! (Even if they do live in P-Town).

Dinner came next. Can you tell I probably gained a pound or two on this trip? Clay and I ate at the "No Frill Bar and Grill". I enjoyed the Teriyaki and Sesame Grilled Tuna over mixed greens and fresh veggies topped with corn salsa. Easily some of the best tuna I've had. The atmosphere was great too. We would return for another culinary caper before the trip ended.

Now that our stomachs were full, it was time for a drive. Clay and I headed to Virginia Beach. There's a club there called The Rainbow Cactus Company. It's a gay bar with a combo top 40 -slash- country feel. The evening started off slowly, but picked up once more people filled the place. One person, in particular, stood out. It was a drag queen, doing a show on stage. In typical drag queen style, the "she" was a "he". But, there's a twist. His chest had been surgically altered. He had breast implants! And damn, they looked good. It was a strange sight. Truly different.

I must confess, I'm not a huge fan of the whole drag queen thing. I just don't get it. But hey, to each his own. After all, there are many who question my obsession with a certain blonde boy wonder.

We wrapped up the evening back in Norfolk at a place called Magnolia Steak. It's a hangout for the local media folk there. We shared a few beers with some of the gang at WTKR. I don't remember exactly how things ended, but at some point there was an offer to fly the table to St. Croix. I guess we didn't go, because I have no tan to show for it.

Or maybe that's because of what happened Saturday.

Coming up next time: Mister 80 SPF sunblock wearer...

Blow by Blow Account (part one)

2005-08-17T08:05:00.000-04:00

OK, let's get this out of the way.

Bad blogger!

::spanks self::

Yes, I know I promised a post yesterday. Really, that was the plan. But you know how that usually turns out. Instead of blogging, I spent Tuesday evening at Michael's. We watched some TV, drank some of this new adult beverage he's come up with, just hung out, you know? It was really nice. Plus, I think Max, one of his cats, is warming up to me. Me... cats... who knew?

Anyway, onto the promised post. What a trip! I spent five days in the beautiful Hampton Roads area of Virginia. Let me tell you this: if you love water, you'll be in heaven there. It's all about the water there. The weather was hot and muggy, pretty much like I never left Georgia. But while the weather was the same, the culture, the people, just about everything else was different. That's a good thing.

Clay picked me up at the airport Thursday afternoon. The flight was an incredibly smooth one. Smooth until landing, that is. The plane slammed onto the runway so hard, it bounced a couple of times. Yikes. There were a few gasps in the cabin, but everyone was fine. We made it.

First on the agenda was a tour of Norfolk, particularly Clay's neighborhood of Ghent. Clay and Beth live in a wonderfully artsy, hipster-type historic area of town. There are lots of old buildings, young faces and Starbucks. Lots of Starbucks. Clay's apartment has a balcony that overlooks one of the tree lined streets. Where does he live, you ask? On the corner of Blow Street. Blow Street. Come on! How perfect for him, right?

Sadly, Clay had to work that night. He produces the AM show, so work begins at 11pm for him. But, that would not be a problem, as Beth produces the 11pm show. They would simply "exchange" me at the station.

I won't bore you with details, but let's just say it was nice to be inside a "real" television station. Beth and Clay work at WTKR, the CBS affiliate in Norfolk. The studios are located in a four-story building in the downtown area. Very nice place. Great set, spacious newsroom, etc. The break room was pretty kick-ass too. The 11pm show went well, so by midnight, Beth and I were off to find some fun.

And we found it. The Wave is a gay and lesbian club in Norfolk. Apparently, Carson Kressley of Queer Eye fame frequents the place when he's home visiting in Hampton Roads. Thursday night was 80s night. The drinks were cold, the guys were hot and the music was even hotter. OMG what a fun night! Beth and I worked up a sweat on the dance floor. Yes, I danced! Must have been a full moon.

The fun wrapped up around 2:30am. Beth dropped me off at Clay's for the night. I collapsed onto the couch and soon fell asleep. I needed it. Friday would be a big day: a meeting with one of the news bosses at the tv station. Nervous, party of one, your table is now ready.

Coming up next time: meeting the boss, tuna-fest begins, and a drag queen like no other.

*Quote of the Day* You probably won't get this unless you're in TV. This morning, the show was quite heavy. The camera op was relaying all of the script numbers that were dead (H2, H4, H9, I5, etc.). Or as he put it: "Hell, the whole damn rundown is a funeral home."

Guess Who's Back...

2005-08-16T07:11:00.000-04:00

After days on the run, your pal kaos is back in Columbus. Thanks for pretending to miss me. As you know, I don't actually have a heart. If I did, however, I'm sure I'd feel some sort of human emotion.

For now, it's time to unpack the suitcases and get back to business as usual. Look for a post this evening about my Virginia experiences, including the word "blow". Stay tuned.

On Holiday

2005-08-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

For the first time in quite a while, my alarm clock will not ring at 3:30am Thursday. I'll be sleeping in. I'll be on "holiday". My trip takes me to Norfolk, VA, and a visit with my partners in crime, Beth and Clay.

I'll be in Virginia through Monday afternoon. The trip promises lots of drinking, eating and laughs. Trust me. Mix the three of us with a bottle (or two) of wine... and hilarity ensues. Like that one time on the subway in DC. Two words: short guy. I'll never live that down.

The trip will also include a visit to WTKR-TV. (A real TV station, so I'm told.) It will be cool to see how their operation works. For those who may not know, Clay and Beth are producers at that station. They escaped The Channel, giving hope to the rest of us.

Might I actually miss Columbus this weekend? I'll never tell. I will miss a couple of people, though. You know who you are... fractured foot and all.

I promise to take lots of pictures to share with all of you when I return. While I'm gone, feel free to leave lots of wonderful comments. Say nice things about me. At the very least, pretend to miss me. Deal? OK. Also, enjoy some of the new links I've posted on the right. --->

Note to AG and Clay: Sorry there hasn't been much of substance lately. Perhaps the trip will revitalize my blogging brain.

I'm off to finish packing. Have a great weekend everyone. I'll see you Monday.

Mahalo.

Sending Out an SOS

2005-08-09T07:11:00.000-04:00

Help! Get me out of this place! The only reason I don't want to leave Columbus is my friends. I love them. They make putting up with all of this crap worth it. AGH! There has to be a job out there for me. I CAN NOT be doomed to The Channel forever.

Up In Smoke

2005-08-08T08:01:00.000-04:00

We've lost a great one. Americans awoke to the news today that Peter Jennings, longtime anchor of ABC's "World News Tonight", passed away. Jennings was 67 years old.

Jennings was a reporter's reporter. He was a brilliant writer. His delivery was impecable. In many ways, he was the very definition of "network anchorman". Perhaps the reason his presence on the anchor desk was so commanding yet cool was because he was so educated. Colleagues say Jennings knew everything about everything. He was a walking encyclopedia. Not bad for a guy without a high school diploma.

From presidents to popes, there wasn't a major figure Jennings hadn't interviewed. There wasn't a big story he hadn't covered. He could anchor for 60 hours during the events of 9/11. He could stare down world leaders and ask tough questions.

He could do all of that. Yet, there was one thing he could not do. One thing he couldn't shake. Cigarettes. Peter Jennings was a slave to boxes of 20 poison-filled sticks. Jennings smoked for decades. He stopped in the 1980s, but started again during 9/11 coverage. The years of inhaling toxins into his body on a daily basis took their toll on him. Now, his family, his friends, the world are all without a great man, because of a selfish, weak-minded habit. What a shame.

So here's my challenge to all of my smoker friends out there. Don't smoke today. Do it for Peter. Do it for me. Hell, do it for yourself. Just try not smoking for one day. Then try it for two. Then three. Then forever. Is your life, the people you love, is all of that really worth a nasty habit? People may say, well you have to die of something. That's bullshit. Yes, none of us will live forever, but with that logic, you might as well just drive 150 miles an hour on the interstate, blindfolded, without a seatbelt, because hey, we all have to die of something.

You can do it. I know you can. One day at a time. Start with today. Do it for me. Do it for yourself. Listen, I know I've done stupid things. We all have. We all will again. But we have to learn from them. Let Peter's death serve as a lesson. Cigarettes are evil. They rob you of quality of life. Then, they rob you of life, itself. Is it worth it? Is it really worth it?

I love all of you too much to see you go like that.

Breaking News

2005-08-08T00:15:00.000-04:00

Longtime ABC "World News Tonight" anchor Peter Jennings died Sunday of lung cancer, according to the ABC news network. He was 67. View ABC's online coverage here.

Sunday Shoutouts

2005-08-07T16:28:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's hard to believe the weekend is almost over. Sadly, in 12 hours, I will be at the channel, beginning yet another work week. Less than a month to go on this crazy schedule. Woo hoo!

The good news is that this will be a short work week for me. I leave for Virginia and DC Thursday. It will be nice to visit Clay and Beth. I haven't seen them since our DC excursion with "doodlebug" a few months ago. Tell the boys in VA to get ready for some kaos. Whatever that means.

Now, a few Sunday shoutouts after a relaxing weekend:

*Matt and Kari* Thanks for a kick ass Friday night. You guys make me feel like we've been friends forever. Dinner was "da bomb" (as the kids would say). Matt, you're my hero for what you did as we left The Tap. Ashley, you're my hero because you have great taste in guys.

*Michael* Dude, I'm hella proud of you. That was a big step for you Saturday night. I know how you feel. It's a tough situation to be in. In time, you'll figure out what's best for you. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. Oh yeah, I forgot Aaron Carter at your place. Treat him well, OK?

*Elle* What a week, huh? Hang in there, sweetie. You're stronger than you think. You have an incredible group of friends. You'll make it. Plus, you know me. That makes you way cool.

*Steve Wilson* I wanna know how that outdoor art date thingy went for you. Inquiring minds want to know...

*Clay and Beth* Four days from now, I'll be there. Yay!

*Steve Price* Sorry I missed your call. I'll give you a buzz this week. Loving your blog!

*Schwag* All is well on that one front you IM'd me about. I guess that's a good thing.

*Ryan* RP!

*Colby and Andre* I need a Greyhound, stat.

*AG* Incontinence rocks!

*Tarheel TV* We will get together soon, I promise.

*Sportslady and Sportsman* Enjoy the parental visit. Any more fun from the laundry room?

*Desiree* Answer your damn phone!

*South TV News* I'll have to get my people on the ranking issue. Someone will pay for that oversight!

*News Directors* Hire me!

Movin' on Up

2005-08-05T14:00:00.000-04:00

Originally written 7-26-05... but held until the deal became official.

I knew it was coming. It should have happened a lot sooner. Today, the kaos blog announces the departure of one of Columbus television's best and brightest stars. WRBL News 3 anchor and reporter Jessica Clark announced to the staff Monday that she is leaving the station. Jess is moving to Jacksonville, FL, where she will be a reporter and back up anchor at First Coast News, the NBC/ABC affiliates there.

This is a huge market jump for Jess, but it's not suprising. For almost two years, I've sat next to her on the anchor desk. She's my anchor wife (although I feel like I've been cheating on her since I'm filling in on the AM shift). You will be hard pressed to find a more dedicated, talented, creative journalist in this business. In a time when many of us have become jaded and fed up with this business, she still cares. Her professionalism is to be admired. She is to be admired.

Away from the anchor desk, Jess and her husband have become great friends of mine. We share a love of coffee, chocolate and low-carb living. Jess is a class act. I would say she's destined for greatness, but that would be a lie. She's already there.

Hey Jess, does this mean you'll be closer to Rusty Miller now?

But His Name is Hiram!

2005-08-05T10:28:00.000-04:00

I've discovered a new reason to like Major League Baseball.

Apparently, he plays for the Braves. His name is Kyle Davies. Number 26 on the roster... number one in our hearts. I noticed him while watching last night's game. After a little more research, however, I discovered one startling fact: Kyle is is middle name. His first name is Hiram. Hiram! Yuck!

Hell, I'll call him whatever he wants.

WWKD?

2005-08-04T18:32:00.000-04:00

Who Would Kaos Do? While reading the live journal postings of my pals Michael and Ellen, I ran across an interesting question. Which five fictional characters would you, ahem, have pleasures of the flesh with? Ellen tagged me to answer, so here they are. Remember, we're talking about the fictional tv or movie character, not the actor.

1) "Ben" (Nick Carter) - "8 Simple Rules..." Yes, I found a way to squeeze Nick into yet another post here. Nick played "Ben", the drum teacher, on two episodes of the formerly funny ABC sitcom. Honestly, I don't remember much about the character. I was busy watching the actor himself. Maybe I'm cheating a little with this top spot on my list, but hey, any way to get with Nick works for me.

2. "Brian Kinney" (Gale Harold) - "Queer as Folk" Mmmmm... TV's perfect bad boy. Brian takes being a manwhore to new heights. He is cocky, brash, incredibly sexy and sometimes just downright mean. He pretends not to care but deep down inside he has a heart that's just waiting to be loved. But he's too afraid to let it show. Oh, and he's quite sexually adept. Just don't get anything on his comforter. Then he'll get pissed.

3. "Sebastian Valmont" (Ryan Phillipe) - "Cruel Intentions" What ever he did to Cecile, I want him to do to me. Sure, she couldn't walk right the next day, but hey, we all make sacrifices. Again with the cocky thing, too. What is it with me and cocky bad boys? His money and power are a turnon. So is his body. HOT!

4. "Will Hunting" (Matt Damon) - "Good Will Hunting" He looked hot without a shirt in that one scene, that's for sure. Plus, Will has a lot of pent up anger he needs to release. I have a few ideas for him on that. And, who could resist a guy with a Boston accent? Wicked hot!

5. "Jordan Catalano" (Jared Leto) - "My So Called Life" He didn't say much on this short lived ABC show, but that's OK. We like our men dumb and quiet. (Actually, that's not true, smarty-boys are a big turn on too). He was the grungy rocker-type. So withdrawn. So "bad". Sooooo good!

So, there you have my top five. Who would be on your list? Share your comments so we can keep this going!

Kthanksbye!

Red Light Special

2005-08-04T07:11:00.000-04:00

Oops.

I pulled a "stupid" this morning.

Picture it: Columbus... 4:45am... the corner of 13th and Veterans.

I'm waiting at the intersection for the light to change to green.

The light is red.

Not paying attention, I drive through the intersection anyway.

The next lights I see are blue.

Blue, flashing lights.

The cop comes to the car. Oh shit, I think, I don't need another ticket.

He looks in.

Cop says: Hey, aren't you that one guy?

Me: Yeah, I'm that one guy.

Cop: Well, I know you're not a criminal, so just be careful, OK?

No ticket.

Wow.

There are days when I love my job.

This is one of them.

Hey Spikey...

2005-08-03T19:08:00.000-04:00

Elderly TV weatherman Nash Roberts says: "Get well soon".

Speed Bump

2005-08-03T18:38:00.000-04:00

Just about every situation in life can be compared to a Seinfeld episode. I'm convinced of it. Case in point: a startling discovery made this morning at The Channel.

The author of the adequate for this size market blog Life in the 125 mentioned that his sister started her own blog. Oh, how cool, I thought. Then he broke the news: I'd been bumped. You see, for weeks, the link to the kaos blog was the top blog link on 125's page. I was the king of the hill. Now, I am number two, second place, the first loser.

OK, what does this have to do with the greatest television comedy ever? Simple. Episode 154: The Millineum. In this episode, Jerry lands on his new girlfriend's telephone "speed dial". He begins at number six, but quickly soars to the number one spot. Jerry rightfully contends a person's position on the speed dial list is an indicator of where they stand with the other person. The higher up you are, the cooler you must be.

Imagine the sinking feeling in my stomach when I discovered I'd fallen from grace, The number two blog. The number two blog! Unthinkable.

His excuse? She's family... she's my blood. Well I say family, schmamily! Big deal. I'd sell my mom out for a pack of Hostess Twinkies. Mmmmm... Twinkies. I love Twinkies. Golden brown, smooth, cream filled, ahhhhh.

Um anyway.

So yeah, enjoy your spot at the top, sister. But be careful. He could replace you like *that*. When you least expect it, he'll break your heart. Then he'll drink a beer. And laugh. He'll do all of that. But he won't trim his arm hairs. What's up with that?

Men.

Whateva.

This blog entry brought to you by: Hostess Twinkies, the letter "Q", and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

Not Cool

2005-08-02T21:40:00.000-04:00

One of my good friends got fired today. Not cool. Hang in there, ladybug.

Quote of the Day

2005-08-02T08:06:00.000-04:00

"The first attempt is going to be to pull it out. And we don't expect that to take a lot of force. If it seems to be taking a lot of force then we're going to look at cutting it off."

What was this woman talking about? Take your best guess in the comments section. Let's have some fun with this one.

It's Been One Week...

2005-07-31T15:08:00.000-04:00

...since you looked at me.

Ever notice many of my entries have song titles as headers? I never realized that until today.

Anyway.

It has been one week since they looked at me. They? Who is "they"? Duh, silly, The Backstreet Boys, that's who! At least that's the story we're going with anyway. My sixth row seats at last Sunday's concert gave this star-struck fan the notion that they could actually see me in the crowd. Hey, you never know, right?

Last week, I promised a more detailed review of my BSB concert experience. I know, I know. You've been waiting on pins and needles. And why would you do that? I bet that hurts! Stop it.

With apologies to my friend "more beans", I'll steal her format for reviewing the show, by addressing the guys individually.

*Nick - What can I say to the man who rocks my world? Dude, you looked HOT. You always do, but Sunday night, man, you owned the stage. Your vocals have never been tighter. Your clothes looked great. It seems you're really embracing the "bad boy" image. Perhaps picking up where AJ left off. But I know deep down inside, you are a softie with a good heart. Who knows if I'll ever see you perform on stage, but that night is enough to last a lifetime. I would slap my mama for a night with you, but then again, I'd probably slap my mama for a Diet Coke.

*Brian - While most of my desires of the flesh lie with Mr. Carter, you seem like the guy I'd most like to be friends with. Very down to earth, silly, caring, just a really "cool" guy. The people who know you are lucky. Add to that, the fact that you are, by far, the most talented singer of the five men. I still get surprised to hear that powerful voice come out of your small frame. The music world can be your oyster. But something tells me you'd be more content out of the spotlight just speding time with your wife and son. A class act, my man.

*Kevin - It's not too hard to tell you're related to Brian. That same southern gentleman charm shines through in you. And contrary to what more beans says, I like your hair buzzed. It looks good on you, but then again, what wouldn't look good on you.

*AJ - Congrats on staying sober. Really man, we're proud of you. You have an amazing voice, don't ruin it by smoking! You've come too far to let another vice get you in trouble. Not sure how I feel about the mohawk either, but hey, it's your hair.

*Howie - Listen, I have to admit. You've always been my least favorite. Just kinda cheezy, I guess. But hey, it's your thing. BSB wouldn't be BSB without ya. I *do* like the new hairstyle, looks good on ya. And oh yeah, I never thought I'd say this, but you looked damn good in those jeans in the opening number.

If this does happen to be BSB's farewell tour, I'm glad I was there for it. You guys proved you still have what it takes to blow the roof off of the joint. I'm forever a fan.

And Nick, seriously. One night. That's all I need. I would do things to you. Really good things. You have no idea. Call me.

Breaking Up (is apparently not nearly as hard to do as the song title would suggest)

2005-07-31T14:24:00.000-04:00

Forgive me if this post takes you back to second grade.

I don't get it. A friend, for the lack of a better term, "broke up" with me today. I hadn't heard from him in a week or so, which was unusual, since we normally call or text each other a fair amount. I tried to get in touch with him three times this week. Nothing. I thought maybe he was just busy. I was wrong.

I saw this friend at a club last night. I was ignored. Point blank ignored. Baffled, I drove home. I figured I'd sleep on it. He awoke me with a text message.

Friend: Sorry.

Kaos: It's all good. :)

Friend: Good luck with it all.

Kaos: Huh? Luck with what?

Friend: Job and in general. I am cleaning my life up in general... no more room 4 drama.

Kaos: Uh, I must have missed something here. So are you saying we are no longer friends?

Friend: Think it would be better that way.

Kaos: Wow. I'm sorry to hear that.

Friend: We expect different things. All good since you are leaving soon anyways.

Ah, you have to love the 21st century. Losing a friend without ever speaking a word to him.

I'm trying to figure out how I add "drama" to this person's life, since most of our time spent together was having fun with a few beers or weekend trips to Atlanta. We were pals. That's it. The part in life where I suppose we differ is when it comes to men. He is dead set on looking for a boyfriend, the two car garage, picket fence, etc. And you know what, great for him. I hope he finds it. He believes I'm immature for not wanting the same thing in life right now. Just because I may have a one night stand now and then does not mean I have "drama". Far from it, I consider myself to be relatively drama free. My "friend" on the other hand, well, I just won't go there.

I've come to realize something. People, especially gay men, who say they don't have time in their life for other people's drama have one thing in common: they usually have too much of their own drama to deal with. In fact, I would assert these kinds of people thrive on drama in their lives, and contrary to what they say, couldn't live without it. But, I won't go there.

The bottom line in all of this? It's his loss. I was a great friend to him in the short time we knew each other. I have a wonderful network of real friends who support me whenever I might need them. And they know I'm there for them whenever they need me. That's a real friendship you can't just throw away in a text message.

Losing Grace

2005-07-30T13:00:00.000-04:00

This is going to be a tough one. My "Grace" is leaving me. If you've ever watched the television show "Will and Grace", you know what I'm talking about. Grace is Will's partner in crime, the yin to his yang, you get the picture. They're always there for each other. Grace would walk on hot coals for Will... and she knows he'd do the same for her.

My "Grace" goes by the name Desi. Desiree Taylor is a reporter at WRBL. Now, I guess I have to say she was a reporter at WRBL. Doodle Pie, as she is known to some, is leaving our fair city, in an effort to further her career. She will anchor morning news at a station in Elmira, New York. In other words: far, far away from me.

We both knew this day would come. It's going to be tough to say goodbye. How can you say goodbye to someone who's been there for you during one of the most trying times in your life. How can you say goodbye to a girl who went to a Backstreet Boys concert with you? (Of course, it was more than worth it, just to see her later that night, when we met that one guy at that one place, hehe)

We are family. We are closer than family. We are forever united with a bond that will stand the test of any distance. You know I love you Desi, and I'm always there for you.

Three things will never be the same because of your presence in my life. Golden Apples, public safety workers, and that shirt I wore the night you snot-cried all over me.

Go get em tiger!

Law and Order

2005-07-29T16:33:00.000-04:00

Quote of the day:

Adam Schiff: "Young people get impatient with old people. Especially grumpy ones."

Ben Stone: "Speaking from experience?"

Adam Schiff: "I'm a sweetheart. And I'm middle aged."

I'm Pissed

2005-07-29T05:27:00.000-04:00

Some punk broke into my car overnight. CD's -- gone. XM Radio -- gone. I wan't to hurt someone, badly. Who's it gonna be? Ya feelin' lucky, punk?

***UPDATE: OK, screw pissed. I'm livid. Just discovered missing: digital camera, 4 new dress shirts, 4 new ties. The fuckers even took my umbrella. All together now, we're talking close to a thousand bucks. Words can not convey my urge to strangle someone right now.

Cat Got Your Tongue?

2005-07-28T18:28:00.000-04:00

Ahh, you have to love live television. On today's edition of News 3 This Morning, there was one of those moments that I will probably remember for a long time to come. Every Thursday, we have a "Pet of the Week" segment, where the local animal shelter brings over a pet up for adoption, we show the animal, talk about how (pick one: cuddly, sweet, cute) the animal is, and then it gets adopted.

Today, we had two kittens on the show. They were eight weeks old, little fiesty things. During the segment, one of the kitties, the one I was holding, decided to make a run for it. He sprung out of my hands, jumped across the table on the interview set and was gone like the Road Runner. The Wylie Coyote in all of this was our studio camera guy, Norris. (Or is his name Norton? Oh well). Anyway, Norbert decided to chase after the kitten off camera. But this cat would not be caught. It faked Norman out in the weather center, causing him to take a nasty dive in front of the "LIVE Doppler Radar". Nixon, or is it Nedrick, wasn't deterred. As this point the camera shot is still of the weather guy and me. I get up, and turn the other camera on Noxley as he finally cornered the kitten near the studio door. (Norville was on his hands and knees at this point). Finally, the kitten was caught, returned to me on the set, and all was well.

Unscripted. Unrehearsed. Unreal. That's a television moment, kids. I'm working on getting some screen captures from the show to post here. Keep checking back.

If you havent noticed, I like to have fun with Norris. He's a good sport about me giving him different names every day. Now, he's a television and internet superstar. Can I have your autograph, Niblet?

Or is it Nabisco?

Blog-o-Rama

2005-07-28T18:25:00.000-04:00

This afternoon, I enjoyed a superfantastic lunch with a friend and fellow blogger. Hoppin Thoughts, better known as Sonja, is leaving Georgia for Texas. We worked together at WRBL when I first started in 2001. Has it been that long? We had a great time catching up on all of the crazy times we've had here in Columbus.

Hoppin Thoughts has a review of other area blogs on her website. We encourage you to check it out. I promise I didn't pay her for the kind words she had for the kaos blog. After all, I figure she owes me. Let us not forget a wake-up call, on my day off, where she sent me to Quitman County to cover a new sewer system being installed. It was the county's first sewer system. There was a cake. It had a toilet on it. Nuff said.

By the way, as I write this, I sit in Buffalo Wild Wings. There are many hot men here. Including a particular bartender I've developed a crush on. Wait, haven't I learned my lesson? No more food service employees!

OK, dinner's here. I'll see you later.

French Quarter Spirit - Part Deux

2005-07-28T07:33:00.000-04:00

After watching her report on the history of 1024 North Rampart Street, I sent an email to my friend, WWL-TV anchor/reporter Karen Swensen, thanking her for bringing back such great memories. Here is her response:

Thank you so much! It was a complete nightmare trying to put it together. I didn't find out about the piece until Friday afternoon. Ugh! Still, it was a lot of fun to look through the old video. Hope you're doing well.
Karen

Honestly, I would have thought she spent days working on the piece. Just another example of her talent. Thanks for the memories, Karen.

Let's wrap up this morning's entry with some responses to some of your comments about yesterday's post.

*Richard- Overall, WWL-TV's move away from the French Quarter is a positive one. Yes, there is a LOT of history in the 1000 block of North Rampart. So many memories... so much character. But the station is bursting at the seams there. There is not nearly enough room for the staff, the facility is runned down, parking is a mess and let us not forget the termites that swarm the newsroom each summer. Trust me, there's nothing quite like looking down into your coffee mug at 4am to see three formosan termites floating in your cafe-au-lait. The thing I'll remember most about my time at Channel 4 is the smell of the newsroom. It had a strange scent... not offensive or pungent... but you know how some places just have a unique "smell"? The WWL-TV newsroom is one of those places. Perhaps that's the smell of ratings success. Lord knows I haven't smelled that in a while. The saddest part in all of this is that the buildings will be torn down, probably to make way for high dollar condos. I guess you can't stand in the way of progress.

*Clay- Yeah, I was surprised there was no Hoda Kotb. For those who don't know, the NBC News anchor/reporter was WWL-TV's 10pm anchor for much of the 1990's. As a high schooler interning at WWL, I asked her to my senior prom on the air. She's a GREAT lady. Plus, Hoda was in Karen Swensen's wedding, they're best friends. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, a six-year stint at Channel 4 is considered short-timing it, haha. People tend to stay there forever. As for Robin Roberts, she never worked there. Only her sister Sally-Ann. Sally actually gave me my start in this business, at the tender age of 16. She started at WWL-TV in 1977, three months after I was born. These days, she anchors the highly successful four-hour "Eyewitness Morning News", a broadcast I had the honor of being a part of for three years.

Coming up later today... Cat on the loose... plus... lunch with a fellow blogger!

French Quarter Spirit

2005-07-27T14:33:00.000-04:00

WWL-TV's Angela Hill *

Hill, at the anchor desk, circa 1978*

I worked at WWL-TV in New Orleans for three years in the late 1990's. It was (and still is) the station to watch in N.O. One of the cool things about working there was the incredible building we were housed in. Channel 4 takes up a block of North Rampart Street on the edge of the French Quarter. It is a maze of old houses and renovated office space. There is character in those walls. Dare I say, spirit?

Last week, it was announced WWL-TV will move to a brand new building in the downtown area of the city, leaving behind 48 years of history in the Vieux Carre. Anchor Karen Swensen takes a look back at how 1024 North Rampart has touched so many lives. Indulge me. Watch the piece. It's seven minutes long, but it would make me happy. And isn't that why you're here anyway?

You'll also see more about my first television crush, Angela Hill, pictured above. Apparently, I had the hots for her when I was three. I later went on to work with her at the station. Very classy lady. She's the real deal.

*Photos courtesy: wwltv.com

Welcome to the Jungle...

2005-07-27T11:59:00.000-04:00

... er... I mean... neighborhood. The kaos blog extends a warm Georgia welcome to "beans". This blogger left a couple of comments on the blog earlier this week. I linked to her blog and found a truly fascinating page. It's worth a read. Plus, she's a BSB fan. How perfect, right?

So how did beans find me? Apparently the kaos blog is getting around. (More than Kaos lately, I feel like a monk, but I digress). Beans tells me, there is a link to this blog on something called FireFox. It's a new web browser that supposedly kicks Internet Explorer's ass. When I asked Michael about "FF", he said something to the effect of "Well duh, GB, -that's apparently my new nickname- everybody knows about FireFox, it's soooooo cool". Well, I've never been accused of being cool before, so why start now, right?

Anyway, it's cool to be noticed, I guess. Welcome to all of the new readers. And Michael, just for the record, I do look better than you in pink.

OK, four blog entries in one night (read below). I'm going back to bed.

-GB

MALEbag v.2

2005-07-26T23:46:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's time to reach inside ye ol' MALEbag for another one of your letters. Today's effort comes from my friend "M.F." Hehe, I like those initials. M.F. writes:

No new blogs, no email... dude? O, I see... you have P.B.S.B.D. known through-out gay hospitals as, "POST BACKSTREET BOYS DEPRESSION!" Well snap out of it man!

I almost crapped myself when I read that. Hilarious! Yes, I guess I do suffer from PBSBD, as any good fan would. I promise to write more about the concert in the coming days (I know, you can't wait). But that's not why I haven't blogged in a day. Actually, I blogged this morning, but had to pull the entry temporarily because it was not for release at this time. (See post below).

So M.F., thanks for writing in. Thanks for dinner. And, yeah, don't forget the egg whites.